Not I.

No I am not a member of the Paradise Garden Nudist Resort in Ohio. Just in case any of you were wondering. Speaking of wondering.....
If you are a nudist where do you keep your chapstick? I'm really curious. A nudist chick could carry a purse I guess....but a nudist dude? I'm thinking I should market nudists. I could make a little chapstick bag that hangs on the......I'm going to stop there. I can't give away all my secrets.
If you are a nudist do you compliment body parts to break the ice? In the clothed world we can say "nice shirt" to break the ice. In the nudist world do you say "nice butt cheeks"? I kept it pretty PG, I was really thinking something way worse, but I couldn't let my innocent image get broken.
 If you are a nudist how do you hide a boner? (Shit..there goes my innocent image.) This has to be a concern right? I mean what if there is a Jennifer Aniston type nudist walking around? Do you quickly sit down? I'm thinking not Indian style...that might make it more noticeable. Maybe I can market something for this too...I'll call it boner-be-gone. I'm a genius.
If you are a nudist do you look? I'm going to be honest here. Really honest. I would look. At everything. I would look and be critical...just because I'm a critical person. Although if I was there looking, I would be in the nude too. Oh I shudder to think about my giggly spots giggling free. Oh the shame.
If you are a nudist do you hug other nudists? If you do, that's alot of skin on skin out in the open. I'm thinking they have to high five...right?
If you are a nudist do you have to shave if you are really hairy? Lets be honest here. There are some really hairy men out there. Hairy enough that it could be mistaken for clothes. So I call the unfair card if your hairy husband wants you to go to a nudist camp with him. No, my husband is not the hairy man in question. Greg is on the hairy side, but he isn't asking to enter a nudist camp...at least not yet. Which I totally would never do. Giggly spots..remember?
If you are a nudist do you bathe in sunblock? I'm thinking there are some areas I would never want to be sunburned. I could almost see it now. Honey, can you please put some aloe in my butt crack?
If you are a nudist do you play games in your nudist camp? If you do that just might give a whole new meaning to "corn hole". What about beer pong? I see the possibility of missing ping pong balls. I just hope if they do play games there isn't alot of squatting going on. I'm thinking that could cause some serious injuries.
If you are a nudist do you worry about bug bites? Mosquito bites are no joke. Mosquito bites on your whoo-haa would be torture. No way to hide that "secret" itch in the nude.
If you are a nudist do you worry about chafing? I'm thinking I would. I'm going to throw Greg under the bus here- pay backs remember..we went to the zoo and walking out Greg said "in case you were wondering I'm chafed" ..really I wasn't wondering. I could totally tell by the way he was walking and he was wearing shorts! Could you imagine the chafing going on if you were nude?

Here is the article about our Ohio nudist camp. Again I'm sad they didn't ask the important questions.

www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/state/beating-the-heat-by-taking-it-all-off-nudists-keep-cool-in-summer-heat-wcpo

Bus throwing

Have you ever been thrown under the bus? I have. In fact, just yesterday I was a victim again. Let me set this stage for you. Greg and I, like many married couples, talk. We have conversations about ...well just about everything. Normally we both have comments, and we both go back and forth with our opinions, which usually leads into yet another topic. Sometimes we agree, and sometimes we don't. A few weeks ago we were having one of our conversations and the topic of grass came up. Greg, as you may already know is crazy about his grass. (So crazy attentive that sometimes I'm jealous of the freaking grass. I've considered painting myself green to grab his attention, but..well...that's alot of green paint.) He loves his grass. He treats his grass like it's the queen. (I'm not 100% sure but I'm pretty sure he whispers sweet nothings to the grass when I'm not around) Anyway...we started talking about how we- and when I say "we" I do in fact mean Greg and I, wish that our neighbor would cut his far back yard. I said it because I like to see the baby deer, and the grass is too long to see them. Greg said it because he doesn't like the "hood" grass hanging out with his "honor student" grass. Conversation over.
Or is it? So yesterday I come home and our neighbor is on some crazy machine that is cutting and tilling his far back yard. I think nothing of it, go inside and start dinner. A little later Greg comes home, and I said.."holy crap did you see (insert neighbor name here) on that machine? Greg then says "yeah, I've been talking to him for a while now. He said you can be happy now that he cut his grass"......What?! Excuse me? You told the neighbor I was complaining about his grass? Oh it's on now. When I see this neighbor I'm going to inform him that I wanted to just see the baby deer- and that bus thrower over here thinks your tall ass grass is a bad influence on his good grass.
So it looks like I'm going to have to throw Greg under the bus big time...just to get even.

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

of

Jayden Thomas Graves

August 1, 2003

Safe in His arms, forever in our hearts

Eight years ago today our lives were touched by an angel. Jayden's tiny life left foot prints on the hearts of so many of us.  On that day our lives were forever changed, in that one moment I realized how fragile life really is. I will forever cherish the time I had when Jayden was in my arms, and I will never forget how beautiful he was. 

They are all beautiful memories, silently kept, of a baby we love, and never forget.

Happy Birthday sweet boy. We love you.